the beautiful ego

The concept is simple.

Accept yourself and you are free.

Accept yourself and you are loved.

Accept yourself and you will feel peace.

In a sense, it is its simplicity that causes the dissonance.

The confusion.

The it cannot be so simple.

The mind.

It speaks up, doesn’t it?

You can feel it right there, in the back.

Asking, does this really work?

How much do you believe in it?

That you can be healed and have love?

That you want to be healed and have love?

Do you want it?

We seek it.

We seek the feeling of inclusion, for we feel so excluded from the world.

We feel separate and different.

Even though we are Spiritual and awake.

There is that distance between us.

What do you want?

Is there even an easy answer for that question?

Does it make sense sometimes?

To even want anything?

Doesn’t it feel utterly hopeless sometimes?

I can relate to that feeling.

Feeling that I don’t know what I want.

What I should or could want.

Or what I would want, if everything was alright.

IF I was already perfect and had everything I could already want for my own life.

It can be hard to see the games we play with ourselves.

In our minds, the ways we create these problems.

So that we may not find the peace we seek.

Somewhere there is peace.

Somewhere there is a blissful enjoyment of love.

Where though?

Where is the enjoyment that we seek?

The purpose and love of purpose, this divine help that comes from all these resources.

Self help, prayer, always always moving on to something else trying something else.

Until finally we relax.

Realization sets in.

For all these techniques for loving oneself, for advancing.

Are all disguises for being something other than we are.

For mutating into something else.

Its there we want to be.

But its here we are.

What is wrong with here?

Where is the wrongness that we feel right here?

Is it?

Is there really something wrong?

Take away the body, and we imagine ourselves as perfect.

Just for a moment.

Would that feeling go away?

IF you had the million dollars, the perfect life.

Would that feeling go away?

We want to medicate and become something.

To become something else.

Isn’t that the essence of self rejection?

The desire to be something else?

Something other than what we are?

And yet we desire to grow.

To change, to evolve.

And yet, stay the same.

To retain, to have a sense of identity.

Oh I wish I were that identity! Forever!

Here it is then.

The exposure.

In the light.

It is something, new.

Something other than what we ought to be.

Here I am now.

I am here now.

I feel it now, this nowness.

This entire moment of not wanting to be here.

Not wanting to stay, not wanting to live here now.

TO be someone else.

TO BE somewhere else.

Anywhere but here.

Where is there to go, my friend?

Where is there to go. after this?

There is peace in the now, disharmony in the future.

Presence in the moment, and hope in the past.